What’s that…?  You don’t have a big pickup to tow your 6,000 lb. gooseneck trailer….fear not!!!  A little careful, well thought out engineering can solve your problem…

Wouldn’t you love to see how the trip went…?  Good chance he ended up doin’ some unintended off roadin’ somewhere.  Check the ‘hills’ in the background.  Howja like to meet this rig on a two-lane road….coming down the mountain in your direction…?

She’s hitched up and r eady to roll!!  Amazin’ how the extra weight  smoothes out the ride.
Needed to air up the rear tires a bit (’bout 160 psi).

Added some super heavy-duty chain for extra support on the tailgate, (note the ‘Heavy-Duty ‘S’ hooks to attach the chain) Also paid-up for some BIG Number 5/16 sheet metal screws to attach the Reese hitch frame to the tailgate (see ‘em there?  one on each side…) Likely two more through the carpet into the floor pan inside…
Yep, probably overkill, but didn’t want the possibility of having an axerdent.

Most of the time was spent on the front porch whittling down that MASSIVE solid pine 4×4  to fit precisely down into the hole in the ball mount receiver.
Note also - The 14′x14′ piece of 3/8′ plywood on the underside of the tailgate to distribute the load more evenly and beef up that tailgate support.

‘A MAN CAN’T BE TOO SAFE’…!!

They are out there, folks… and they vote…

OLD people  have problems that you haven’t even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his  physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a  jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen  sample tomorrow.’

The next day  the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the  jar, which was as clean and empty as on the  previous day.

The doctor  asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like  this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.   Then I tried with my left hand, but still  nothing.

‘Then I asked my wife for help.  She  tried with her right hand, then with her left,  still nothing.  She tried with her mouth, first with the  teeth in, then with her teeth out, still  nothing.

‘We even called up Arleen, the lady next  door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it  between her knees, but still nothing.’

The doctor was shocked! ‘You asked your neighbor?’

The old  man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the damn jar open.’

Shame on you what were you thinking?

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
It is called the 401-Keg.

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

Makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?

At the  National  Art  Gallery in  Dublin , a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench.

Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. ‘In fact, ‘he pointed out, ’some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.’

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’

‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?’ asked the couple.

‘Because I’m the guy who painted it,’ he replied.  ‘In fact, there are no  black men depicted at all. They’re just three Irish coal miners.  The guy in  the middle went home for lunch.

Unfortunately, as I have gotten older, I have become a little less sensitive.

So, after trying my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, last weekend (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day……

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, coyote ugly, nasty woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly, nasty woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins.. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am. I just find it hard to believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My 25 year old supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work…….. soooo maybe I’ll go fishing.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA   agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

‘We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . Kill her!!’

The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.’

The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.’

The second man was given the same instructions.  He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for a bout 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, ‘I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.’ The agent said, ‘You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.’

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another.  They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

‘This gun is loaded with blanks’ she said.  ‘I had to beat him to death with the chair!

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female
teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill
Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was
decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would

go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the
men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none

of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants,
and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to
their wee-wees’ to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he
was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was

staring the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 5th grade.

‘No, ma’am’, he replied. ‘I’m riding Silver Arrow in the seventh
race, but I appreciate your help.’

HAPPY EASTER!