You Make This

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up…

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said,’Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

“So what do you think about that Doc?”

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season..”

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”

“As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge…

He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang, bang’.”

“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

The doctor replied , “My point exactly.”

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. “Let’s see who has the largest dick,” he says. “Okay,” they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. “That’s nothing,” says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. “Wow, that thing is huge!” they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American’s mother asks him what he did at school today.

“Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book …and during recess, my friends and I played “Let’s see who has the largest dick.”

“What kind of game is that, honey?” says the mother.

“Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I’m black. Is that true, Mom?”

The mom replies: “No, honey. It’s because you’re twenty-three.”