You Make This

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. “Let’s see who has the largest dick,” he says. “Okay,” they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. “That’s nothing,” says the Italian kid. [...]

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to  the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that [...]

A  cannibal was walking through the jungle and  came upon a  restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat  hungry, he sat down and looked over the   menu….
+Tourist:                    $5.00
+Broiled  Missionary:        $10.00
+Fried  Explorer:            $15.00
+Baked  Democrat or Grilled Republican:   $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked,  “Why such a [...]

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on  the couch, totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
‘What are you doing?’ she asked.
‘I’m waiting for Ralph to come home from work.’ The [...]

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my  loyal pet, Biscuit,  and was in the checkout line when a woman  behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse [...]

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of quid for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten pounds and asked, ‘If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?’
‘No, I had [...]

Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women.
They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the “Clitaurus.”
It comes in pink and the average male thief won’t be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken Mc Nuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I [...]